Tag Archive: Shabbos

Shuls Can Learn from Retail Stores

The Shul I attended during my childhood had a greeter (see this New York Times article on how nuanced of a job upper class doormen have serving as a greeter on down). This job wasn’t taken lightly at all. In fact, it was filled by none other than a noted author and radio personality. Week after week, he would sit by the front door, and last row in Shul, to make certain that a tourist, newcomer, visitor, or unaffiliated Jew was guided to their seat, and also had a Siddur, Chumash, and even a Shabbos Meal! As someone who travels for many weeks throughout North America each year, I can attest that this type of warmth is something that is not exhibited in many Shuls—let alone outreach Shuls (although I must give Aish LA credit for having a greeter).

What prompted me to remember this childhood memory, is that just the other day, Professor William Kolbrenner, author of Open Minded Torah, asked, Is Torah a ‘product;’ are rabbis ‘salesman?’ This question got me thinking. I don’t believe that a Rabbi is a ‘salesman’ and that his Shul is his ‘used car lot.’ That said, I do think that there are things, such as having a greeter, that a Shul can have, and by extension, bring people closer to Torah, increase their  membership, make Minyan more of a warm and friendly place, and so on and so forth. As such, Shuls need not look any further than yes—of all places—retail stores such as a Apple on down, as to how to how to subtly engage the newcomer or unaffiliated into the services that much more. After all, from the pleasant music to the choice of floor tiles, the environment in a retail store is almost never arbitrary. Indeed, we find that Halacha already helps us by mandating that the Bimah be in the middle of the sanctuary. In so doing, this makes the place in which the Torah is read, a very central and inclusive spot in the overall layout of a Shul.

Apple retail stores are king at creating an “ownership experience” and more brand loyalty with customers. At Apple retail stores, the laptop screens are all adjusted precisely to the same exact 70 degree angle—not just for uniformity and aesthetics, but, according to Forbes, to get you to adjust the screen—touch the computer and get engaged with it. This is done intentionally with the hopes that this will create an “ownership experience” and more brand loyalty with customers. Studies have shown that people are more likely to walk into a store and buy a product(s) if they simply touch them.

In light of the above, if Shuls were to simply display their Siddurim and Chumashim in a creative manner that will be respectable to the Sefer but still subtly says, “touch me,” or “open me,” we may just find that from the start, there may be that many more people who would be that much more comfortable with simply having these books in their hands. Truth be told, I think it doesn’t even take a creative display of these books—what it does take is to display them in a place that any “new user” could easily find them. I can’t tell you how many Shuls I’ve walked into and had to find the Siddurim all the way in the front right section or in the middle. That is certainly not the most ideal place to find a Siddur—to say the least!

All in all, I’d love to see the greeter become just as trendy as a Kiddush Club! Alas, I am compelled to believe that I may be asking for too much. That said, if we simply looked at the layout of our Shuls—or in some cases reevaluated them—we may find that while still staying within the time honored framework of Halacha, we could better engage people and create an experience that will feel more comfortable and allow a person who has made that leap, and walked into a Shul, to move in a positive direction.

Shabbos Time Management Part 2

As the Overseas Director of Bnot Torah/Sharfman’s I have the unique opportunity to travel all throughout North America and visit and pray in a plethora of shuls and communities. Indeed, there are some days that I have been in three states in one day! When it comes to Shabbos, I’ve spent that time serving as a Scholar-in-Residence or visiting with friends or family.

Regardless of the state or the size of the community, by and large I have noticed three trends when it comes to Minyanim:

1. The weekday Shacharis Minyanim are seemingly getting quicker and quicker (the quickest one I ever attending was over in 34 minutes!).

2. On Shabbos, the Main Minyan now starts as late as 9:30am. Indeed, even the Shul in which I grew up no longer starts at 8:30am but at 9:00am.

3. Shabbos morning services are seemingly longer than ever. After all, as synagogues expand their Rabbinic staff (for instance I know of several synagogues that have gone from one Rabbi to now four Rabbis in the span of only a decade) catering to a Main Minyan, Young Professionals Minyan, Sephardic Minyan, Teen Minyan, and so on and so forth, there are more and more “commercials” or in other words announcements that are taking up time on Shabbos morning. In fact, I was in one Shul where the announcements alone lasted over twenty minutes…and then there’s the Kiddush Sponsorship announcements etc!

In terms of the first point I raised, I believe the reason is simply a sign of our times. Due to the recession, globalization, technology, or whatever it may be—we live in a seemingly busier and busier world. As such, I imagine that people feel compelled to blaze out of Shul and rush off in the morning to their workplace, carpool, etc. etc. I certainly know that I’ve been guilty as charged when on the road and needing to catch a plane. Likewise, when it comes to Shabbos, this is often the one day that a person can sleep a bit later. As such, for the typical congregant Shabbos morning can not start at 8:00am let alone 8:30am. Sadly, despite announcements and warnings in the Shul email or bulletin, even the 9:00am start time gets in the way with everyone always reciting Shema at its proper time. After all, if services do not even begin until 9:00am and let’s face it—not everyone always shows up to their respective synagogue on time—let alone in time for Barchu…well, you can do the math.

An obvious solution to allowing Shabbos to be a day in which one still has several hours at home to spend with their family is to follow the model that is common in Israel. Shul starts at 8:00am and finishes at no later than 10:15am. This model may work in Israel but will not for a plethora of reasons work for the American model.

As such, is it possible to attend a service that allows for the meaningful sermon, while also providing several hours of family time?

I believe the answer is yes!

You see, as a child I attended a synagogue that started at 8:30am. In subsequent years the Rabbi of the Shul enacted a policy that allowed for services to finish in a timely matter.

He told the congregation that he will give his weekly sermon, assuming that the congregation does its part and reaches the point in the services that he gave his lecture by 11:00am.

If however, due to people dragging out the prayers by saying countless Misheberach’s for every member of their family including their third cousin, or people lining up to submit names for the Misheberach for Cholim—despite the policy that one must have submitted the names to the Gabbai and only those names would be recited, to people deciding to not simply be a Chazzan but to use the fact that they are leading the services to audition for The Jewish Star Singing Competition, then he felt that giving his sermon would be a true tircha dt’zibbur and he would not speak that particular week.

This self-policing was highly effective. People came to Shul and found meaning in the sermon of this particular Rabbi (very much in line with Rabbi Goldberg’s position mentioned in Part 1) and actively made it a point collectively to see to it that the services moved. At the end of the day, it did not mean that there was no singing. Of course there was! It just meant that the service couldn’t lag and lag and lag on. There was a communal sense of responsibility to move the services along. It meant that if the person leading the prayers wanted to sing a tune during Kedusha, he should consider which tune or only during the Mimkomcha stanza and not every section.

Ultimately, this led to people getting to their homes that much earlier and having just a little bit more family time. I don’t think it’s a solution that will work for every Shul. However, by having the congregants self-police themselves it could be a way that would allow Rabbi Goldberg to reach his goal. I’ve certainly seen this method work before with a similar demographic/congregant base to the one that Rabbi Goldberg has at BRS.

Shabbos Time Management

Rabbi Efrem Goldberg is the Senior Rabbi of the Boca Raton Synagogue (BRS). His congregation is rapidly-growing with over 650 families. It follows that he is someone who cares for the needs of all of his congregants. Indeed, the other day, he  asked (here) on his Twitter account the following question, “how would u shorten shabbos morning davening within halachik boundaries in an effort to make it more enjoyable and meaningful?”

This question elicited several responses. Rabbi Eli Storch of DRS answered (here), ”take away the hosafos in leining. no misheberachs after the aliya. Don’t sing while taking out the Torah,” while Mordechai Holtz, the COO of  Meor, replied (here) that he should consider what I believe to be an even more drastic method. Namely, Mordechai suggested modifying the services to be more akin to, “Israeli style [in which there's] no speech during davening (do it post-prayer where those w/ kids dont feel pressured).” Rabbi Gil Student of TorahMusings.com replied with an answer that I see to be a healthy medium. He wrote (here), that the service should simply offer a “quick dvar Torah rather than sermon and no extra mishebeirachs. Minimize time people are just standing around.”

Rabbi Goldberg countered to Student’s tweet by writing (here), “many, ba’alei teshuva in particular, find more meaning in sermons than tefila.” As an aside, it is worth noting that BRS is very active in all things Kiruv and was recognized as such by NJOP at their seventeenth annual dinner. It follows that Rabbi Goldberg, who also attended Ner Le’Elef, is sensitive to the needs of Baalie Teshuva as he has congregants and their families who are not your typical FFB.

I believe in the importance of community life. However, I believe that something should be done to allow for more “family time” on Shabbos. If anything, due to the length of Shabbos morning services, I find that the communal life can unintentionally encroach upon the “family time.” After all, when the Main Minyan begins at 9:00am it may not endi until 12:00pm. Accordingly, there are people who may not get home from synagogue until as late as 12:30pm.

As such, ones Shabbos lunch may not start until as early as 12:30pm and as late as 1:30pm.ii I took an informal poll of my seminary students and asked how long their Shabbos lunch takes? The answer that I kept receiving was approximately two hours. It follows that certainly in the winter months when Shabbos ends earlier, there is very little time before one must return to Shul for Mincha, Shalosh Seudos and Maariv.iii This leaves little time to learn some Torah on your own, let alone go over your child(rens) Parsha Sheet,iv or learn some Mishnayos or what not (let alone) individually with each one of your children…and this is assuming that the Chulent didn’t get to you and compel you to take the ever so important Shabbos afternoon shluf!

Rabbi Fink of Pacific Jewish Center contends here and here with my position. In fact, he believes that, “Shabbos is for community/connection,” and that “much of the day is spent in Shul. As it should be.”

I have a Mesorah from my Rebbeim on down, that Shabbos is a day to bond with ones family. It is a day to show ones children the true beauty and essence of Shabbos. If not now then when? In fact, by our Sages instituting that we bless each and every child in our family on Friday night, a mere couple of hours after welcoming Shabbos, we are demonstrating the important role our children and “family time” plays into the Shabbos experience! See also Sefer Emek HaMelech (Hakdama 3 Ch. 4) who records that even the saintly Rabbi Bezalel Ashkenazi valued the importance of “family time” and returned to his family on Shabbos—and then promptly left once again to continue his Torah learning in seclusion.

I believe that one espouses genuine sentiments of Kedusha directly upon their impressionably young children in their home and at their Shabbos table—and not at Youth Groups or a Teen Minyan. Certainly in an era that is plagued with concepts such as, “Half-Shabbos,” if we are able to simply be home and demonstrate our love for the beauty of Shabbos, we can do our part to impart upon our children that this day is filled not with socializing in Shul but with sanctity. Sanctity begins in our home, our mikdash me’at and moves on from there.

Moreover, certainly in today’s world when kids have hours on end of homework and a father and/or mother may return home as late as 8pm tired after a long day at work, Shabbos becomes an even more essential day. It is the one day that a parent is assured that he or she will be able to spend time with his family, let alone transmit the Torah ideals of Shabbos and the beauty of Judaism.

Shabbos is not a day to network. It is not a day to primarily connect with ones community. It is a day, if not the only day of the week, that one can use to strengthen ones home.

Granted, I agree with Rabbi Fink that it’s important to work on communal connections. This can be done on any other day of the week. It can even be done on Sunday. After all, ones kids may be in school or playing little league baseball on Sunday. For instance, Sunday morning is a perfect time to learn with fellow congregants over a brunch or pack Mishloach Manos with other community friends, and so on and so forth.

In 2012, there is only one day that we are guaranteed to have all of our family together without any digital distractions…that day is Shabbos.

Yes, there is time Friday night when Shabbos starts early to learn and spend times with ones children. However, with certainly young children, there are many years in which they are only up for Kiddush and HaMotzei before they fall asleep under the table, on the couch, etc. etc. Likewise, in the summer months there still isn’t that much of a long afternoon that one has available to them. Certainly, if ones son or daughter is going to a friends house, attending a Pirchei, Bnos, or a Bnei Akiva group, that longer Shabbos afternoon isn’t really that long.

All in all, I’m not opposed to Shabbos being a day for communal events. However, I certainly don’t think that it’s a day in which “much of the day is spent in Shul.” Rather, there must be a concerted effort to find a healthy medium for both family and community. After all, we need unified families to create a strong community.

In a follow up to this post I will share with you a novel approach that I have seen successfully implemented towards solving the fact that Shabbos morning services can easily lag on for hours on end. As such, I believe that it could help—if not serve as a Halachic answer to Rabbi Goldberg’s question.

For more on this topic see Rabbi Reuven Spolter’s post here: http://j.mp/wfaH5G

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i When I use the word end, I am including the holy grail that no one would ever cut out, namely the Kiddush that typically follows Shabbos morning services.

ii After all, sometimes you need to stop by another Shul to wish a Mazel Tov at someone elses Kiddush, Bar Mitzvah, etc. etc.

iii For many reasons from convenience on down, I have seen that people do not return home for this meal and instead remain in Shul, shmooze with their friends at the table, sing some nice songs, and hear some closing remarks on the Parsha from the Rabbi.

iv Children as young as two years old receive this review of the week from his/her Rebbe or Morah. As ones children get older the Parsha Sheet is not only a helpful review for the child, but it may allow one to know what is and isn’t being covered in the classroom. To simply skip this Parsha Sheet would be a mistake. And yet, even if you assume that Mr. Ploni Almonistein has four children and will spend ten minutes on this sheet per child, that means that simply reading it and giving each child the time that they deserve takes a good forty minutes. I know that some parents like to “kill two birds with one stone” and go over the Parsha Sheet at the Shabbos table. In reality though, the Shabbos table is not an ideal time to blow through the questions that each and every child has within their Parsha Sheet. After all, there’s a lot going on at a family oriented Shabbos table. Likewise, one may have children who are at the young age that they can’t be compelled to sit at the table for a long stretch of time. And so, doing this privately on a couch in the morning or after lunch with your arm lovingly wrapped around your child, can impart genuine sentiments of warmth as well as show your child that they have your undivided attention!

A Simple Solution to Solving Shabbos Texting!

Earlier today, Rabbi Steven Weil, the Executive Vice President of the Orthodox Union noted that, “Everyone’s tweeting about it.”

You may ask, “what is the proverbial it?”

In this case, Rabbi Weil is referring to the The Jewish Week article that highlights the increasing phenomenon of Orthodox teens texting on Shabbos! Indeed, there are already several terms coined for this behavior such as: Half-Shabbos or Shabbos Texting.

Before we even discuss this topic, I want to ask the following question: should this topic be discussed in the open?

I believe the sagely Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai already answered this question for us. The Talmud (Bava Basra 89a-b) relates that Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai was debating discussing a particular topic in public and ultimately remarked, “Woe to me if I speak, woe to me if I do not speak.” Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai resolved his dilemma on the basis of a passage in Hoshea (14:10) that states, “The ways of Hashem are straight.”

The Maharsha suggests that the reason why he decided to publicize corruption and sin was that even if a sinner may stumble—by putting this information out there—there will also be honest people who will be saved from making mistakes.

I believe that this same resolve can be applied to the now very public discussion of Half-Shabbos.

As someone who educates young Jewish women hailing from all across North America, Administrators and Educators (ranging from the Bais Yaakov world to the Modern Orthodox world) have over the past two years, turned to me for my personal input as far as how to deal with this silent—and now seemingly louder—crisis.

Frankly, this phenomenon should come as no surprise. The use of texting seems to be the preferred form of communication with a teenager. In fact, according to this recent report, the average teenager sends 3,339 texts per month. Moreover, teen females send an incredible 4,050 text per month.

That’s more than 6 texts per waking hour!

Despite us sitting in the year 2011, the above mentioned figures are in line with the words of the Talmud. After all, the Talmud (Kiddushin 49b) notes that a woman is innately more of a communicator, by teaching us that, “Ten measures of speech descended to the world and women took nine measures of speech.” And so, while I have no concrete statistic in front of me, I’d venture to say that this issue is arguably even more prevalent with teenage Jewish girls.

So…how can we even begin to tackle this issue?

I know that there are those who may reply by saying it’s finally time to rewrite the typical Yeshiva High School curriculum. I’ve heard others privately comment that our sons and daughters need to focus on the basic fundamentals of our faith. In other words, our kids should learn more about topics discussed at an Aish Discovery Seminar, and not be bogged down in the archaic Aramaic language of the Talmud. Alas, I will leave these suggestions aside.

I believe the answer to beginning to solve the crisis of Shabbos Texting starts with the one word that defines what teens are doing when they text. That one word is: communication.

In my capacity as Overseas Director of Bnot Torah/Sharfman’s I have the unique opportunity to travel to various Jewish cities and neighborhoods throughout North America. In so doing, by davening at the local Shul or visiting a kosher eatery I enjoy being able to get a firsthand look at Jewish Americana.

And so, I’m pleased to have seen signs in various schools and other community establishments that beseech people to respect the prayer service by not texting during Minyan. Likewise, I saw a sign in several Yeshiva High Schools that encouraged a strict adherence to the laws of Lashon Harah by reminding students to “think before they text.”

These signs are nice. They are graphically pleasing and looked catchy. They communicate to the reader an ever important Jewish ideal. Moreover, the poster encourages teenagers to join committees or groups that will help create awareness towards Lashon Harah, Tzniut, and so on and so forth. However, before printing any more signs asking people to not text and to Daven, I believe we need to have signs and campaigns that champion, restore and evoke pride to all who observe Shabbos!

Just as Yeshiva High Schools have a S.N.A.P. (Shomer Negiah And Proud) Committee I encourage any school to have a S.S.A.P. (Shomer Shabbos And Proud) Committee. We must do something even at a student/grassroots level that will engage our youth to learn about the beauty of Shabbos and not simply be, as one person cited in The Jewish Week article said, “bored.”

The desecration of Shabbos is a dangerous spiritual disease in our midst that cannot be taken likely. At a physical level, the Surgeon General’s warning steers people from cigarettes. At a spiritual level, we must communicate and steer our children and students just how very meaningful Shabbos is to us. Fittingly, it was just announced this week that the Surgeon General will further communicate to the public at large the dangers of cigarettes. The Surgeon General’s warning on cigarette packs will soon be replaced by a much larger and more graphic a) image and b) warning! If the Surgeon General is upping their awareness I believe we need to do our part on a spiritual plain and create an infographic and campaign to educate teens about what sanctity, and by extension, how fully celebrating Shabbos allows us to experience kedushah in the physical world.

Without this form of communication, countless Orthodox teenagers will sadly view Shabbos as and not a day filled with kedushah. Rather, it will simply be a day to nap and read the paper. Frankly, I must admit that I could see myself also getting pretty bored if this was my understanding of Shabbos. I mean, let’s be honest. Who reads the newspaper anymore?

I hope that this article will come as a wakeup call to us all.

I hope that many are invigorating to communicate or to explore once again the beauty of Shabbos.

In so doing, we can begin to restore Shabbos as The Holy Day of Rest before it simply becomes known as, The Holy Day of Texts!

If you have any insights on this topic please share them in the Comments Section

A Female Orthodox Basketball Star

Being that I work for Sharfman’s Seminary, a wonderful post high-school program for young Orthodox Jewish women, I often take particular interest in any story that may speak to our student body. That said,  I never thought that I would find any of the words from the title of this post in one sentence…but sure enough the day has arrived!

Every heard of Naama Shafir?

I certainly hadn’t heard the name until I came across this article. And while I do not agree with the position that her particular Rabbi took, that of allowing her to play competitive college hoops on Shabbat (the Jewish day of rest not of exercise), she does nonetheless come across as a good teammate as well as an Orthodox Jew struggling to define herself in a contemporary world and in a sport that she loves.

Indeed, the first high profile Orthodox basketball player was a lanky red head from Baltimore named: Tamir Goodman. Truth be told, the man once featured on magazine covers and labeled, “The Jewish Jordan” now finds himself more spiritually in tune and fervently devoted to God and Judaism. Interestingly, this is seemingly due to the fact that his playing career led him not to the coveted NBA. Rather, he ended up playing ball for several years on various Israeli teams. Spending time in the Land of Israel allowed him to discover his heritage while playing the game that he loved and by extension, has allowed him to develop into the person he is today. On the other hand, it appears that Ms. Shafir seems to be pursuing her dream while making the opposite move. She has traveled thousands of miles away from the Holy Land to American soil.

And yet, what I took away from the article that features Ms. Shafir is how far America has come in terms of the acceptance of Shabbat within the workplace. Indeed, many great Rabbis have remarked, that when they were growing up in America, they would sit in Shul, and following the morning services, men would have to go off to work. Nowadays however, the need to express this level of religious observance is being accommodated to an unprecedented level.

May it be Hashem’s will, that it today’s economy this level of understanding and religous acceptance does not creep backwards but only continues to be accepted!

Memories of My Neighbor Bob…

As a child we had a next door neighbor who was not a religious Jew.

In fact, he was not even Jewish!

That said, Bob (yes that was his real name!) was a courteous middle aged man, who loved Venice Beach and was a true friend to our family (and to all Jews for that matter). Indeed, on several occasions he served as our Shabbos Goy, and took a real interest in understanding Jewish Law and Practice. Most of all, he was really cool to us kids because he worked in Hollywood…!

Anyways, while the last time I’ve seen Bob was several years ago, reading this post “from the other side” reminded me of the kindness of Bob and the lasting impact that I’m sure we’ve had on each other.

Thanks to Rafi for the link!


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